September 19, 2001

I am gonna try and use this pen for now. I hope it lasts me for some, or most of the trip I am starting. Well, I started it a long time ago. I enlisted in the army almost 6 months ago, and just now, yesterday, I started my journey. Its gonna last about six years, and maybe just maybe ill stay alive that long... we can all hope…right. I left behind a lot of people that say they care about me. I know they do, but what I think is that it won't be long before they get used to me being gone. It's now my second day here and I still haven't wrote anyone. I have made a lot of calls but other than that, I have done nothing right now. I am waiting on the final word to ship out. I am hoping it will come soon. The time is 10:03am. It is Wednesday.

EKZ: Intro

EKZ: Intro

I never under stood how I came to this point. After everything I had been though, I thought I had made the right choices, took the right paths, but in the end maybe they where the wrong ones, to a destination I would have had regardless.

 

I wish I could go back to around my high school years with the knowledge I know now. To know what the outcome of my decisions would be. Would I still ask my Ex-Wife out? Would I risk not having my beautiful children? Or would I ask the girl who I always liked, but never had the courage to date? I know that after 5 years of being married, I had a hard time getting used to the fact of not being so. The things I been doing for the last 5 years I couldn't do any longer. I could no longer kiss her, or make love to her. Apparently she spent my year of deployment in Iraq getting used to the idea of being single. While I spent it getting ready to be a better husband, and a better father.

With so many regrets, with so many 'what if' in my life. I wonder how my life would have been, if I had made the other choice, if I had not listened to my cousin's advice. If maybe I had followed my heart over my rationale.

But like I said…

If only…

If only…

 

If

Only

I

Had

Made

The

Other

Choice